He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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