Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
