Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this beer tastes like vomit already
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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