I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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