Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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