Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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