So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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