We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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