Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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