the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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