Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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