Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
