i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
