If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize