Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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