Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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