im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
