so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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