..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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