im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
