God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize