Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
