I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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