Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
