so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
