My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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