...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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