i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
