For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
