So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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