I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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