home. puking in laundry basket.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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