Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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