I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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