he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
