she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
sex in a hospital.. check
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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