stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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