I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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