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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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