..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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