well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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