I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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