Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
