this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
