i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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