I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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