You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
