actually, I'm a sock model
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize