So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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