what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
