Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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