We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
