i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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