Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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