i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
