Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
