no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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