don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
