he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
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Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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