call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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