how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to make out with him forever
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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