so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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