Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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