It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
