we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
